Does anyone else remember the song ‘I can sing a rainbow’ that features the line “Listen with your eyes”? As a child I was always perplexed by this but now that I’m grown up and an early years educator, it makes perfect sense.
As early years educators, we recognise the importance of supporting our children to develop their communication and language skills, but this isn’t just about the words they hear and use. Learning to listen to the complete message being communicated is of equal significance. This means listening not only to their words but to all the other ways that they are sharing their thoughts and ideas with us – listening with our eyes.
Picking up on the non-verbal cues that our children are giving us and understanding their behaviours is a form of listening without relying on their words. Listening in this context means paying attention and observing what they are trying to tell us when they might not have the language skills to explain. It’s about showing them that they and their contributions are valued, and that their needs matter.
So what does listening with our both our ears and eyes look like? How do we send that powerful message to a child that they are valued and their “voice” (in whatever form that takes) is heard and acknowledged by us?
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Recognise and understand their stage of development
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Give children the time they need and stay relaxed and in the moment
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Be patient, don’t interrupt or get distracted
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Ensure that our body language re-enforces our interest in them (think about your posture and facial expressions)
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Get down to their level and make eye contact with them
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Observe their body language, movements and gestures
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Give those occasional nods or sounds to show we have heard and are continuing to pay attention
In other words, be an active listener. You will find that you’re creating an environment where our children can express their thoughts and feelings without fear of rejection. You are helping to support interactions and the development of strong positive relationships build on respect.